Table of contents for Cat's Wisdom

1. 5 Things I Learned About Life From My Cat

Cats are perceptive creatures. Anyone who has a cat knows that sometimes, they just “know” something without us understanding why. They have a variety of wise faces, letting us know that they hold the key to the secrets of the universe.

Or at least that’s the way cat owners like me interpret how our cats gaze at us. They may be just wondering if it’s too soon to ask for dinner or playtime. Or, just maybe, they are wiser than us.

Whether they have figured out the secrets of the universe or not, I know I have learned a thing or two about how I could live my life better from observing my cat.

1. Sleep is needed to be in top form. My cat, Midnight, is a bit crazy sometimes. She will wake up from a pretty deep sleep, and less than 10 minutes later is running around the house at top speed. She’ll race between the balcony door and the window in the bedroom. If she gets a chance, she’ll pick up a toy to carry with her along the way. I understand this type of behavior is typical for a cat, as is sleeping most of the time.

I hear frequently that humans need 7-8 hours of sleep (I’ve discovered I personally need 8). Studies have been done that show we lose mental ability and physical coordination as we go without sleep. Like many, I’ve doubted this was true for me, as I’ve been able to function well without the 8 hours of sleep. However, from watching Midnight, I can see that if I wake her up suddenly, she’s slow. If she wakes up on her own she’s in top form. In the same way, if I’m woken up suddenly, or before the 8 hours, I am sluggish as well. If I wake on my own after 8 hours of sleep, I’m sleepy at first, but I’m much quicker to become fully awake.

The lesson? We should pay attention to our pets more – they know how much sleep they need and aren’t afraid to get it.

2. Ask for what you want even if others don’t understand you – in time they will. Midnight is a very vocal cat. She asks us for things all the time. When we first got her, she would wake us up in the middle of the night. While we’ve trained her to leave us alone through the night, she still insists on waking me up if she’s hungry. In a way, she’s trained me to get out of bed right away and fill her bowl. (Thankfully, she doesn’t push it unless her bowl really is empty.)

She also tells us all the time that she wants – something. For awhile, John and I couldn’t figure out what she was asking for, then we realized she wanted to be let out onto the balcony. She is nuts about going outside on the balcony; she even insisted when it was snowing once (although she didn’t stay out long when she realized how cold it was!)

Humans have the benefit of being able to actually speak. We can ask for what we want; however, that doesn’t guarantee that the other person will understand. We have the ability to explain, and often we do so. But, I know there are times that I’ve given up explaining and either done the task myself, or decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

But, there are many things that we really do want, and we need the help of others to get it. In my own life, I’ve had to change doctors at least a dozen times to find one that was willing to listen to me and understand exactly what kind of treatment I wanted. In this case, it wasn’t a matter of giving up – although I did go through periods where I just didn’t see the doctor because I was tired of switching. In the end, I kept asking, knowing that there must be someone out there who would eventually understand.

3. Be generous with appreciation and love when others pay attention to you. Midnight is the only cat I can remember noticing is super quick to start purring. Often she will start purring before she even settles down to get petted. Simply by speaking to her she starts purring. She knows that we will pet her, or play with her and she very much appreciates us doing so.

How many times do we take someone for granted? In the past several months, I’ve been making a conscious effort to say “Thank you” whenever someone helps me out. When I spend time with friends, I will thank them for hanging out with me and/or for supporting me. I also am pleased when someone thanks me for helping them out or spending time with them. Appreciation of the other people in our life is important and should not be overlooked. My cat doesn’t take me for granted, and I do my best to follow her example and not take my friends and family for granted either.

4. Play often – it’s an integral part of life. Cats seem to have three modes: sleep, cuddle, or play. I count “stalking” in the play category because Midnight is great at catching dry leaves and only so so at catching flies. She’s not afraid to act crazy and doesn’t even slow down if we trip over her accidentally. Her attitude is: get out of my way, can’t you see I’m playing here?

We could all take a lesson from cats (and dogs as well): there is nothing wrong with wanting to play. So many times we justify our desire to play: I’ve had a hard day; I needed some “me” time; I deserve a break. What’s wrong with saying, “I’m busy right now, it’s time to play?”

Of course, as adults, we have responsibilities and we can’t play whenever we want to. But, aside from that, we often put off play because we think it’s not “important” or a “waste of time.” Well, I say we should forget that. We should hang up the guilt and “shoulds” and just play.

5. Asking for help doesn’t make you loved any less. Obviously, cat’s can’t feed themselves. They can’t change their own litter boxes either. They have to ask their humans to do these things for them. As I mentioned above, Midnight isn’t shy about asking for what she wants. Even if we don’t’ feel like giving it to her (she wants to play and we are watching TV for example), she knows that we are still going to love her. We’re not going to get rid of her or stop paying attention to her.

However, when it comes to our human relationships, many people are afraid to ask for help. They don’t want to look weak or want to admit that they can’t do something without help. But here’s the thing: we all need help at some point or other. When we were babies we didn’t hesitate to ask for food or a change. Yet, as adults we are reluctant to ask for assistance. Clearly, this reluctance is a learned behavior. However, I didn’t learn this from my cat. In fact, Midnight showed me just the opposite – I shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help if I need it.

This post is a bit silly, and was a lot of fun to write. While most of us don’t get life lessons from our pets, it’s true that they can show us how silly we are sometimes. True, pets don’t have the same reasoning abilities as humans, but that may be the reason why they can show us so much. They don’t let reasoning and logic get in the way of their innate nature. We should do the same more often.

If you have any comments or thoughts, I invite you to leave them below.

1. Play Poker. Well, it doesn’t have to be poker. It could be any game that gets you to think. Recently, I’ve really taken a liking to Texas Hold ‘Em. I read books, watch it on TV, and even play with John occasionally. The last time we played, I did much better than previously. Spending time thinking about it helped me to understand some of the more subtle aspects of the game.

Now, when I feel anxious, one of the things I do that helps is to concentrate on a game of poker, whether I’m actually playing or not. I find that the dynamics of the game engage my mind and distract me from the anxiety. What also helps is that the game has some strategy, so I have control over how I play my hand. This sense of control helps as well.

Other games that will make you think: Solitaire, Freecell, Soduku, or Chess. Whatever the game, it should have some strategy and concentration.

2. Color in a coloring book. The other day, John bought me a Hello Kitty coloring book. I love how it is thick and full of easy to color pictures. I got out my crayons and colored pencils and had fun coloring the first picture. Combining the fun of the childish coloring book with the preciseness of the adult choice of color and shading took my mind right off the anxiety. I also got a sense of pride from filling in the spaces on the page and making it look much like the preprinted professional image on the cover.

The best thing about coloring books may be how common they are. They are cheap and come with lots of choices of subject. Crayons are very easy to find as well – heck even restaurants have the packs of three or four for children to use.

That brings to mind another idea – do the activities on the place mat the next time you go to a restaurant. That can help ease any anxiety created by having to wait for your seat or by bad service.

Having fun takes your mind away from the fear to a place of happiness and security. Although talking to a friend or watching a movie may have the same effect, pulling out a coloring book and crayons can be done even if you can’t find someone else and it doesn’t take as long as watching a movie either. It can work on a picture for an hour if you have the time, or just for a five minute break.

3. Step outside for a few minutes. This accomplishes three things: you get a change of scenery, you get some fresh air, and you get to experience nature, no matter what the weather. Wherever you are, whether work or home, stepping outside will give your eyes something new to focus on for a few minutes. You don’t have to think, just enjoy getting away from your familiar surroundings for a time.

If you think that the air outside may not be as fresh because you live in a smoggy city, you may not be aware that experts estimate that most buildings have so many chemicals in the air that even smoggy cities have fresher air outside than in. At the very least, the air inside is recycled and probably stale. If outside is super hot and humid, then even going outside will make you appreciate the inside air more. Either way, the contrast will help relieve the anxiety.

No matter what the weather, it’s something you can’t control. Taking a few minutes to put your worry in perspective to the weather can help tremendously with relieving that worry. If it’s sunny, the sun itself will boost your mood. If it’s pouring with rain, you can know that at least you’re not the only one dealing with avoiding getting wet. You could also choose to think of the rain washing away your worries. Whatever you choose to think, or if you choose not to think at all, enjoying the weather, no matter how “bad” can easy a lot of worry.

4. Clean your desk. Or your car, or your living room, or your kitchen. The point is to take conscious control over something that you know you can influence. Unlike stepping outside and yielding control to the weather to ease your mind, actively taking control of your surrounding will ease worry. You can’t control the mood of your boss, you can’t stop your husband from being cranky. However, you can clean, or straighten. You can make order out of chaos, even if only in a 2×2 food square.

Worry comes about because we fear something we can’t control. There are a lot of things and events we can’t control, but there are also a lot of things and events we can control. Taking action to change something, even something minor, tells our emotions that not all is hopeless. We can affect some things. And maybe it will give us inspiration on a way we can have some control over the big things as well.

5. If it’s been at least 2 hours since you last ate, eat something. I used to have a friend who would go shopping with me just about every weekend. Even if we never bought anything, we would still walk around and window shop. These marathon sessions always lasted several hours. Inevitably, there would come a point where she would say, seemingly out of the blue, “Let’s go eat.” If I looked at her funny, she would reply, “You’re getting cranky, you need some food.”

Now, I can’t be the only one who gets “cranky” when I’m hungry, even if I don’t realize I’m cranky. Not only do I get frustrated and irritated easily, but I start to worry about stupid little things. Am I out of cat food? Did I remember to turn off the light? What the heck was I supposed to pick up at Wal*Mart?

Not only does stopping to eat slow me down and bring me back to the present, but the food itself gives my system fuel to work with. Cars don’t run well, or far, on fumes, and neither do humans. The general recommendation is to eat a small meal every few hours. So, even if you don’t feel hungry, if it’s been at least 2 hours since you last ate, you very well are probably low on fuel. That doesn’t mean you need to eat a huge meal, but eating something small, like a granola bar, will help.

6. Drink a big glass of cold water. Yes, we know that we are supposed to drink 8 glasses of water a day, or so many ounces per pound. This tip doesn’t have anything to do with that. For me, drinking a big glass of really cold water is a great way to bring me back to the present. The water cools down my mouth and cools all the way down to my stomach. In the same way that drinking hot chocolate or coffee warms us up, drinking cold water does the opposite. It helps give our system a little shock.

If the thought of drinking water makes you grimace, then drink iced tea or lemonade or Crystal Light. Just make sure it is cold and light. Heavy drinks won’t do.

Alternatively, you could wipe your forehead with a cool cloth or run cold water over your wrists. The feeling of all of these is refreshment. And I don’t know anyone who feels worse after feeling refreshed. Since anxiety is the opposite of feeling good, this is bound to have at least a little effect on your worry.

The next time that anxiety strikes and you feel overwhelmed, try one of the tricks above. All are different than the standard ideas, which may be enough to ease the worry.

If you have any other nonstandard ideas or any comments on the ideas above, I would love to hear them below.

Photo Credits: Poker by Guylaine2007; Crayons by chefranden; Outside Building by S. Simon; Clean Desk by cambodia4kidsorg; Meal by jetalone; Glass of Water by yoppy