Yesterday, I posted the first three of the lessons on friendship I saw in the movie Labyrinth.
When last we left Sarah, she was facing off against Sir Didymus in the Bog of Eternal Stench. She had just convinced him to let her pass and he had agreed to travel with her.
4. Don’t immediately discount others ways of helping. As Sarah starts to cross the bridge over the Bog of Eternal Stench, the bridge collapses and she almost falls in. She grabs onto a low hanging tree branch. As she is hanging there, not sure what to do next, Ludo starts to howl. Sir Didymus asks him, “Sir Ludo, canst thou sit by and howl when yon maiden needs our help?” Ludo ignores him and continues to howl. After a moment it becomes clear that the rocks are responding to his call. When questioned, he replies, “Rocks friends.” (One of the things I love about movies with magic – strange things happen when you least expect them.) The rocks settle in the Bog and form a new bridge. Yet, it appeared that Ludo wasn’t helping, merely lamenting, at first.
One of the things I like about my friends is that while we all think alike on many things, there are times they figure things out that I don’t. I had a friend in college who was my lab partner and we were great together because if one of us didn’t understand something the other one did. Why do we go to our friends for advice? Because we know they have a different way of looking at things.
However, I know there have been some times that I asked for advice and what I got in return seemed not to answer my questions at all. Yet, when I thought it through, or did what they suggested, I saw that they were absolutely right. I’ve learned not to question these times as much anymore; I just realize that they have their own way of helping.
Like Sir Didymus realized, people have their own way of solving problems, sometimes doing so when it appears they aren’t helping at all.
5. True friends come through in the end. As I described in Part 1, Hoggle is a self proclaimed coward and runs off several times when confronted with Jareth’s wrath that he’s helping Sarah. However, in the end, he jumps into the fray to help her at a critical juncture – risking grave injury and Jareth’s fury like he’s never seen before – to save her. He expects that she won’t forgive him for hurting her and abandoning her, but she does. She commends him for his daring rescue and tells him he is still her friend. She had faith that he cared for her more than he was afraid and would overcome his fear to help her.
In my own life, I’ve seen this happen as well. While I’ve never been faced by an 8 foot tall metal goblin wielding a huge battle-axe, I have faced some very tough points in my life. During an episode of depression, I found out who my friends are. My true friends called to check on me, invited me to spend time out with them, or in the case of John, were a wonderful source of encouragement and support.
It may be a cliche to say that true friends come through in the end, but it’s true. Good friends will be there to celebrate the good (new job!) as well as support you through the bad (romantic breakup!) I recently had an opportunity to realize that I wanted to be a true friend, in a similar way to Hoggle. I hadn’t talked to a friend of mine for several months when he got sick and had to go into the hospital. I was afraid that he would be upset that I hadn’t kept in contact and might not want to see me. However, I’m glad that I went to see him; not only was he happy to see me, but I have reconnected with my friend.
And, as Hoggle discovered when Sarah forgave him for hurting her, I also discovered that I can also be forgiven by my friends.
6. We need to face our demons alone, but it’s nice to know that someone’s got our back just in case. When Sarah, Hoggle, Ludo, and Sir Didymus finally make it to the castle beyond the Goblin City, Sarah heads to confront Jareth.
The others start to follow her and she tells them she has to go alone. “Because that’s the way it’s done.”
Sir Didymus replies, “Well, if that is the way it is done, then that is the way you must do it. But, should you need us…”
Hoggle interrupts him, “Yes, should you need us…”
“I’ll call.”
Sarah then races up the stairs to get Toby back. And that is the way it had to be done. The journey through the labyrinth was a pact between her and the Goblin King and although she had help making it through, in the end, she had to face him alone.
When we undergo any self improvement process, getting support can be critical. Yet, at some point, it comes down to us and change. We have to face that change alone. If we are working to change our eating, we can have others we bounce ideas and fears off of, but only we control what we actually eat. If we are working to heal past hurts, we may choose to have someone we trust sit with us. But, only we can feel our feelings and process them.
Just as Sarah needed to face Jareth alone to finally get back Toby, we need to face our fears and inner demons to get the change we desire.
As Sarah traveled through the labyrinth, she met many strange creatures and many obstacles. However, she also found friends and learned many things about letting other people into your world to share your adventures with you.
In modern society, we do so many things that we think we need do by ourselves. We often push our friends aside, relegating them to the “fun” times. However, we all need others to fill out our life. We let our friends lean on us for support; don’t be afraid to lean on them sometimes. And, don’t forget the lessons evident in Labyrinth about the power of friendship.
I like the sub-heading “True friends come through in the end”. Friends are made during adversity and not during times of fun. Selecting friends is thus all the more important.