Comments on: Just Because Your Working On Self Improvement Doesn’t Mean You’re Always Getting Better

By: It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, But Don’t Coast Before It Gets Great | Ripples of Improvement

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 23:33:39 +0000

[...] – Considerations | Table of contents for Downside of Self ImprovementSelf Improvement SucksJust Because Your Working On Self Improvement Doesn’t Mean You’re Always Getting BetterWe Aren’t In Control Of How Our Self Improvement Ultimately UnfoldsIt Gets Worse Before It [...]

By: We Aren’t In Control Of How Our Self Improvement Ultimately Unfolds | Ripples of Improvement

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:02:41 +0000

By: Cathy

Cathy — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 12:55:45 +0000

Ooo, I didn’t even remember that downside! I too have experienced what your friend did. For so much of my life I was numb to the bad feelings. Then, when I started to delve into those feelings, I had to *feel* them. And, once they were turned on, I couldn’t turn them off again. At the beginning, it’s hard to see that you are making any progress at all. After a bit of time, the progress is easier to see and feel, but it’s still hard.

Fortunately, when you go numb, you don’t feel the bad feelings. Unfortunately, when you go numb, you don’t feel the good feelings either. And, you can’t just turn on the good without also turning on the bad. You, know, this series originally had 3 parts, but this is such a big part of the equation, it really warrants it’s own part. Thank you for pointing this out!

By: Evan

Evan — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:54:52 +0000

Thanks Cathy. I agree that these times aren’t talked about enough.

And sometimes even steps forward are a problem. What I mean was what happened to a friend of mine recovering from an awfully abused childhood. They were healing past hurts, but then the next hurt would come up. Which was like: oh, so the reward is to feel bad some more? I’ve rarely seen this mentioned in the self-improvement stuff, but it was a huge problem for them.

Thanks for a great, honest post.