How Self Improvement Is Like Getting A New Pair Of Glasses
March 29, 2008 | In Mindset |
Today my new pair of glasses came in. For a few weeks, I’d been noticing little things that I brushed off as nothing. Then, one morning I felt the slight eyestrain I feel when I know it’s time to put my glasses back on. I looked around for my glasses, and was starting to get worried because they weren’t in the usual places. Then, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror - I was wearing them! I knew it was time to make the appointment.
Photo by laffy4k
Now that I’m wearing the new pair, I have mixed feelings. I’ve got a bit of a headache from eye strain, and it’s a fight not to put my old pair back on. I’ve told myself several times that it’s for the best, they’re what I need to improve, but I’m still grumpy about it. Which made me think of self improvement in general. It may seem strange to think this way, but what can getting a new pair of glasses tell us about self improvement?
1. Things look clear, but not quite real. As anyone who has gotten glasses, or gotten a slightly stronger prescription knows, your vision is better with the new pair. However, it’s still weird. I can see the chairs on the other side of room, and the clock on the wall much better, but it’s as if they are farther away. I have a better sense of depth, but although I know it’s because my eyes are able to focus better, it still feels off somehow.
In the same way, when I make some improvement in my life, like healing a big hurt from the past, or discovering something new about myself, I have the it’s real, but weird feeling. My life gains a clarity and depth that it didn’t have before and I know that my new vision is real. But it still feels off.
For several days after I heal a big hurt, I feel almost…floaty. There is a lightness to my body and a sense of peace. I am also happier than I was before. I feel kind and loving toward everyone. Although I’ve never taken drugs, I imagine this is what it must feel like to be high. The sense of otherworldly happiness, the high, fades, but the peace remains. The pain is really gone and my new outlook becomes real, but it takes a little bit. Before that, it’s just like the vision of new glasses, clearer, but still a bit strange.
2. They might not sit quite right and need to be adjusted. When I put on the glasses this afternoon, the woman at the store said they weren’t sitting quite right. She adjusted them then asked me to try them on again. At the time, I didn’t notice a difference. However, now that I’m home, I notice that they are off, so I think that she shouldn’t have tweaked them at all.
In the same way, self improvement is something that only we can tell is right or wrong. From the outside someone may say that we need to adjust in this way. However, even if we adjust in that way, it doesn’t feel right. When we are alone, or just focusing on us, we can tell exactly how we need to adjust.
I’ve felt this with myself in the past. I visited one therapist who insisted on asking me for the latest news on a friend of mine, diagnosing him instead of helping me! I knew that she wasn’t helping me so I adjusted, and found another therapist. He helped me and when I finished with my sessions I was glad that I’d made the switch. I knew exactly what was wrong (she wasn’t focusing on me) and I made the adjustments needed.
When it comes down to it, we know ourselves the best. We all have parts of ourselves we run from or hide away from others. We also all have others who care about us and give us advice as best as they can. In the end, just as I know that the glasses frames are uneven, I also know what is best for me, even if it seems to go against the advice of others.
3. No matter how much you needed them, it will still take some getting used to. As I mentioned above, I knew it was time to get a checkup and a new prescription. But, now that I have them, it is taking some time for my eyes to get used to the new vision and not be strained. I wanted them, but I didn’t want this adjustment period. Unfortunately, I couldn’t have the one without the other.
In the same way, when it comes to self improvement, any changes will take getting used to. If we want to establish a new habit, it will take time. No matter how much we want to change our routine and add a new step, we will forget a few times and we will need to do it over and over before it becomes automatic.
When I approach healing a large hurt I resist. I know that I want the healing: the lightness, the peace, and the joy. However, I also don’t want to relive the pain and the fear and I want to avoid all the tears I know will come. As much as I want the past not to haunt me, there is still something fundamental that needs to get used to the idea that I must work through the pain to heal it - not around it. I have to wear the glasses for my eyes to get used to them, not just hope that they will
4. You will look different; not bad, but different. Unless you get exactly the same frames as before, a new pair of glasses comes with a new look. Some people even wear glasses that don’t have any vision correction to change their look. (As someone who has needed to wear glasses since 8th grade, this I do not understand. You want to deal with all the hassle so you look different? Weird, or crazy, I can’t decide which. But, to each his own I guess!)
In the past, I made some awful choices of glasses frames. Although, it was a different decade and they weren’t as bad then as I they are looking back. However, I distinctly remember at the time really liking the frames I picked. I looked really different, but I liked them.
In the same way, self improvement makes you look different. Losing weight, or lifting weights will be an obvious physical change. But, even psychological change makes you look different. Your face has a more relaxed look to it. You may smile more, or squint less. You may walk instead of shuffle. You will just look different. None of these changes are bad, but they are different.
So, whether you change your glasses frames every couple of days (a la the new Lens Crafters commercial), loose a few pounds, or finally get peace from an old breakup, you will change your look. Some people will notice and some won’t, but you will notice and be thankful.
Over the next few days I will be getting used to my new glasses. The self improvement changes will take longer. However, both have similar elements and difficulties.
Do you wear glasses and have any other similarities to add? Any other comments or thoughts? Please let me know below.
Photo Credits: Lego Man and Glasses by skycaptaintwo; Glasses and Music by cadmanof50s; Glasses with Red Background by Chor Ip; The Beach Through Glasses by rpongsaj
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Hi Cathy,
I don’t wear glasses (yet).
I really like how you talk about it taking time to get used to the change - even though we know it is for the better and is real.
Still not quite used to the glasses yet. I’m mostly used to them except when I’m moving. Still working on the focus for that.
And, with self improvement, there are still some aspects of that I’m getting used to as well.
PS Will you be changing the photo on your blog?
No. The picture on the front on the blog isn’t super clear as to how the frames look. The new ones are pretty much the same color, except they are frameless on the bottom. The lenses are a little bigger, but I don’t think it would show in a picture on the blog due to the resolution. However, any pictures I take of myself for future blog posts will show the new frames.