We’re Not Alone - Activism Needs Connection
December 13, 2007 | In Connecting With Others |
Table of contents for Perspective On Connection
- We’re Not Alone - Activism Needs Connection
- Small Steps To Connection As Small Scale Activism
- Larger Steps To Connection - Getting To Know Someone
Do you ever feel like things are slipping out of control faster than you can blink? How do we stop the merry-go-round and get going in the right direction again?
Photo by The Lilac Breasted Roller
First, we need to make an effort on a personal level. Second, and possibly more important, we need to join up with others and work together, pooling our resources and energy for a larger impact. However, I don’t believe that simply occupying the same physical space as another is enough. In order to have that synergy, that compounding of efforts, we need to make a genuine connection with other people. Then, we can truly achieve greatness.
Large Vision - Small Steps
I can think of lots of success stories where large efforts resulted in large outcomes - where that synergy was firmly in place. What is easy to forget, though, is that all of these efforts started small. In order to connect with hundreds, you first have to connect with a few. So, while I’m aiming ultimately for reaching large numbers of people, I know I have to start small.
However, I know how easy it is to go through the day feeling alone, or at least different from everyone else. We are all unique, with our own ways of looking at the world and our own feelings about our experiences. It can feel like we have nothing in common with the person in the next car over or in front of us in line at the store.
We’re Not That Different
But, when you think about it, we aren’t that different. We’re all human, we all have the same general physiology - heart, lungs, eyes, ears. We all even have the same core feelings - anger, sadness, gratefulness, happiness. So why do we feel so different? Is it because we think that in order to connect with someone there has to be a shifting of the cosmos? Do we need to have a tragedy strike in order to feel a kinship with someone else?
Connection in times of trouble or other emotionally charged circumstances can be extremely valuable. However, it’s much easier, and more common, to connect in simple ways. Either way, the important thing is that we have to take the time to get out of our heads, and put aside the endless loop of thoughts for long enough to be present and pay attention to others around us.
We Give A Little, They Give A Little
In order to establish a connection with others we have to give up a little bit of ourselves. Whether that bit is a glimpse of our personality, or a deeper expression of our feelings, we must give up that part of ourselves. In turn, the other person gives up a bit of themselves. The vast majority of the time, this works out and we don’t even have to think about it. However, there are those times when we are afraid of others judging us. Connection during those times is therefore harder.
Day to day, this process occurs in two stages: first, we connect with others through little, day to day activities. This is the level of connection with strangers. Then, we get to know people better, we spend more time with them, and that connection deepens as we share more of ourselves.
I’m the kind of person who can make chit chat easily enough, but when it comes to deeper conversations, I take awhile to warm up to the other person. Not shy exactly, but not comfortable around strangers either. One technique that has helped me warm up to strangers faster is practicing through connecting in little ways. By deliberately reaching out to others and being conscious of doing so, I’ve realized it’s simple. Also, it’s unlikely that others are going to reject a friendly hello or a smile. Taking the next step and getting to know someone new is then easier, but still challenging.
What’s Ahead
Through the next two posts I want to give you some ideas on how to connect with others through examples from my own life. First I’ll focus on little ways that we can practice without having to worry (too much!) about how others will perceive us. Then, I’ll discuss getting to know someone and explain the ideas I try to keep in mind when I’m confronted with rejection. I don’t always react the way I want, but I’m learning and practicing. I hope my words provide encouragement to you to learn and practice as well.
Please feel free to tell me what you think or to add your own ideas in the comments below or in the comments on any of the following posts. I’m interested in what others have to say!
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