4 Values That Are Central To Self Improvement
April 20, 2008 | In Changing Mindset - Action Steps |
With the presidential election coming up in America, I’ve been paying attention to what the candidates are saying. I’ve been judging them on a core set of criteria that I believe America has to have as a nation. I realized as I thought about these values, that they are really values that I believe make me a better person.
Self improvement is a process of “improving” the self. On one level this means healing the past and learning to be in emotional balance most of the time. On another level, it’s about being the best person we can be. But, this isn’t just something that affects only us. As we become better people, we have more confidence in ourselves and pursue our passions. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a desire to help others. In fact, just by becoming a better person, I’m helping others - good moods can be as contagious as bad ones.
1. We are destined for something better. I believe that I am rarely at my personal best. I know that my negative beliefs about myself hold me back. It’s hard to follow your dreams consistently when you have frequent thoughts that you aren’t worthy of those dreams. However, I know that these are false beliefs and I hope for something better for myself. I’m slowly learning to be at my best more often, but I know there is always room to improve.
I also hope for better for others. I believe that everyone should have access to the education and resources they may be lacking. I believe that everyone should also have access to the emotional assistance they may need to be as confident and successful as possible.
Although we may think that we know someone else inside and out, we will never know someone as well as they know themselves. We can only hear our thoughts and know how we feel. Therefore, if we want better for everyone else, we should start with ourselves. As we work on ourselves, we will learn a lot that we can pass onto others to help them with their own struggles to understand themselves.
Many of us have lots of areas of our life we believe need improvement. But, before we can start on a plan to get better, we have to believe that there is a better. For me, this isn’t just a belief that there is something better out there, but that I’m supposed to have it. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.
2. I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, no matter how much it differs from mine. I know there are those who disagree with me on my spirituality, my friends, my choices in life. However, I also know there are others who do agree with me. Regardless, I believe they are all as good as I am.
There are hundreds of self improvement books. All of the self improvement books I’ve read have been written by people who believe what they have to say so much that they knew they had to write a book about it. Some of them I agree with, and others I don’t. However, I know that their way worked, at least for them, so I have no right to claim that my opinions are any better than theirs.
I do my best to give my opinion and my experience from my point of view and not to claim that I have the ultimate knowledge about anything. There are lots of different ways of looking at the same problem and may different opinions of the solution. All are as valid as mine.
3. I believe that we shouldn’t force our way of looking at the world on anyone else. I applaud anyone who stands up for what they believe. I also have great respect for those who reach out as teachers to others. I draw the line at anyone who tries to “convert” me however, That’s not to say that I won’t debate someone, and consider their point of view and even change my opinion.
Debate is not evangelism. Debate is looking at issues with an open mind or at least the willingness to back down if you can’t change the other person’s mind. What really gets under my skin is those who act superior to me, believe that their opinion is so right that I must agree with it, and condemn me for not seeing it their way. I see this in politics, and religion, but thankfully not too often in self improvement. There are of course a few individuals who have worked on one method and had such great results they don’t believe any other method is as good, but even they don’t usually “run me over” with their opinions.
4. I believe that these values are important enough to me to fight for them. I am thankful that I have liberal friends and that we think a lot alike so I don’t need to fight them. Although, I have been known to stand up for what I believe and disagree with others - once with the guy who runs the local liquor store, and once with a coworker.
Unfortunately, this is the value that applies most readily in the political arena. But, in the self improvement arena, it applies as well. If I don’t believe something strongly enough, I won’t be willing to fight for it - even if I’m only fighting the inner critic.
Self improvement isn’t easy, but it helps to have a core set of beliefs to fall back on. When the going gets tough, I know I can count on my inner resolve to carry me forward. That resolve is built on the idea that being a better person means I need to treat myself and others equally. We are all important, and we all matter. Everyone’s way of thinking is valid - yours and mine. Forcing my beliefs on someone else, or looking down on them because they don’t believe the same thing I do, does not make me a better person .
In the end, we are all destined to improve and this is a belief we should hold dear and be willing to fight for.
Do you have any core beliefs that pull you through the times you want to give up? I would love to read about them in the comments below.
Photo Credits: Steps to Beach by Lollie-Pop; Italian Garden Gate by zarylla; Boxing Girl by ganessas.
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Links to related topics: Being Present, Connecting With Others, Conscious Mind, Do Our Best, Emotional Balance, Friends, Having Fun, Healing Past, Helping Others, Limiting Beliefs, Listening, Mindset, Passions, Paying Attention, Personal Control, Personal Power, Presenting Ourselves, Self Definition, Self Expression, Taking Action, Taking Notice, True Self, Unconscious Messages, Understanding Ourselves, Values
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I just discovered and subscribed to your weblog. And I tried to “contact you directly”, but was stopped by the Challenge Question, “What’s the background color for”
If there’s any way you can help me connect with you, I’d appreciate it.
I’m writing for your permission to show you my new website about Beliefs, because you wrote this:
“I believe that I am rarely at my personal best. I know that my negative beliefs about myself hold me back. It’s hard to follow your dreams consistently when you have frequent thoughts that you aren’t worthy of those dreams. However, I know that these are false beliefs and I hope for something better for myself. I’m slowly learning to be at my best more often, but I know there is always room to improve.
I also hope for better for others. I believe that everyone should have access to the education and resources they may be lacking. I believe that everyone should also have access to the emotional assistance they may need to be as confident and successful as possible.”
Please let me know.
Thanks Cathy.
I appreciate you!
John,
Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad you enjoy my blog and that you have become a subscriber!
With respects to the contact form, I apologize. Apparently when I last updated the plugin for the contact form it wonked the whole thing out of whack. I’ve fixed it; thank you for pointing it out!