The Story Of My Dream - Part Four
January 31, 2008 | In About |
Table of contents for Life Story
- The Story Of My Dream - Part One
- The Story Of My Dream - Part Two
- The Story Of My Dream - Part Three
- The Story Of My Dream - Part Four
- The Story Of My Dream - Part Five
Back to College For a Fresh Start
When I returned to college the following fall, I again took Principles of Biology I and General Chemistry I. This time I passed, but I still struggled. I didn’t rejoin the offshore sailing team. I grew a circle of friends who were bio majors and my roommate and I grew apart.
Photo of Organic Chemistry Notes by redgoober4life
My third year of college I took Organic Chemistry. I failed. My fourth year of college I took Organic Chemistry again. I failed again. I finally passed Organic when I took it a third time at the local community college after I had left St. Mary’s. In fact, except for that class, I was ready to graduate in 1998. However, because I had to pass that one last class, I didn’t officially graduate until 1999.
Remember how I mentioned I’m extremely stubborn? Well, the biology degree is a perfect example. Somewhere, I think it was in my second year, my parents and I discussed the cost of St. Mary’s and my struggle with my studies. I assured them that I wanted to stay there; I was sure that I was going to be a Marine Biologist and I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way!
St. Mary’s College of Maryland is a “public honors college.” That means it’s cheaper than private schools, but hard as rock to get in. It’s also hard to stay in. It got harder and harder every year I was there. By the time I graduated, the incoming freshman needed higher credentials that I had to get in. In other words, if I had been applying in 1998 instead of 1994, I would not have been accepted. I also heard that the Principles of Biology class that I had to take twice to pass was made even harder. Rumor had it that too many freshman were passing the tests, so the professors were locking themselves in their offices to make the tests harder. I also heard that notes were left on the teachers’ doors, taunting them that they couldn’t make the tests hard enough - the students were still going to pass.
I’m not a dummy by any means. However, I’m not an Einstein either. I struggle immensely with math and can’t stand Calculus (although I had to pass it to get a bio degree.) Also, because of my need to repeat classes, and the strict requirements for the biology degree, I was forced to take classes during the summer semesters at my local community college. I passed these classes easily. I should have seen that St. Mary’s was not the place for me, but I didn’t. I was too stubborn to admit that I couldn’t hack it.
My Self Portrait - Photography Class Assignment Summer 1996
The Real World Sets In
The summers at home from school were yet another turning point for me. I was working temp positions during the day in order to afford the classes I was taking at night. The experience of working wasn’t completely new, but this time it was different. I needed the money for school, not just “things” I wanted to buy. I also met other adults in these classes and most were not the traditional “college age.”
Also, I knew when I graduated I would have thousands of dollars in financial aid loans to pay back and I was looking forward to getting my own apartment. I looked into becoming a full Marine Biologist and I discovered I would need an advanced degree. However, before I could apply to graduate school, I would have to take Physics I and II (more Calculus!) and Organic II, as well as the Graduate Record Exam (GRE), a test similar to the SAT, but harder. All this combined with the thought of even more debt from more schooling and I was done.
I finally admitted that I had made a mistake, but it was too late to change now. Instead, I attended graduation then got a full time position as a Clerical Assistant. It was 1999, and college was over. The Real World had arrived.
My Career In Insurance
I stayed in the Clerical Assistant position for just under two years before I was ready for a change. I had started paying back the school loans and I wasn’t earning enough to also live on my own in an apartment. I looked for another position, and ended up as a Customer Service Representative working for an insurance agency. Finally, I felt like I was moving up in the world.
Me in my first apartment August 2003
This time, my salary was high enough that I could afford my own apartment. I moved out of my parent’s house and into a one bedroom apartment nearby. However, the next few years were rocky for me. I still felt the pull to do something with my life that involved animals, teaching, conservation, or all three. But, every time I looked at getting back into biology, I was hit with the monetary costs involved. At the same time, my drive to achieve kicked in again, and I started accumulating honors and awards in insurance.
Somewhere in this time frame, whether because I had overextended myself with my apartment, or because of the economic changes occurring under the presidency of George W. Bush, money became the focus of my life. I had debt and it was growing, and I wanted to continue to live on my own. The pull to achieve and get more insurance designations fit right in with the fear of the future and not being able to pay the bills. However, I still had a pull to do something else. I had started a friendship with the man who is now my husband and he wanted to move out of his parent’s house too. I thought about it and decided that if we became roommates, then I could save and go to grad school.
Me and my future husband Christmas 2003
Then, I fell in love and we started dating. We did move in together, but I gave up grad school. The fear of not having money was too overwhelming and I made the decision to stay in insurance. Once I did that, I pursued the biggest insurance designation, the Chartered Property Casualty Underwriter (CPCU), with a vengeance. Before, I had taken classes because they were suggested by my employer. Now, I looked at the classes, poured over the course descriptions, and even did self study, working to get the designation in as short a time as possible. I was convinced that if I got the CPCU, I would be so marketable there was no way I could be broke anymore.
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You sure are determined and a hard worker. I’ll be interested to see if this is modified later in your story.
Evan, I’m learning to be less hung-ho about my pursuit of things. Sometimes I feel that I overextend myself and burn out. However, I’m still determined and a hard worker.