I keep repeating habits and am trying to find their triggers that brings poor self worth emotions out in me. When I’m rejected or ignored, I feel pain emotionally.

A friend I recently met and asked out, said she wasn’t ready. I took this to mean possibly, not a no to going out with me. I failed to see all the signs she was giving off and became engrossed in seeing everything from a love angle.

I do this a lot. It seems to mean too much to me. to be loved. Having done lots of work with healers/counsellors and had many self insights, I do not feel I changed much in my behaviours from 20 years ago.

I want to keep going with my interpersonal work but am starting to feel, I can’t change. I’m destined to be alone and not to have what I want the most. Love.

I know you’re thinking…he doesn’t love himself. But yes I do. I’m a great guy, fun, exciting, love life and doing different things, run clubs, have many friends (now, not many before). Close friends I seem to struggle with attaining tho. So to my love myself first isn’t the issue.

I feel my past experiences of life are there to protect me, as with this recent friend hurting me in a way that she knew I was really afraid of, I thought I was being insecure at first but now I realise…my fear was real. She did actually hurt me in a way that I described to her I’d been hurt before.

Not sure what I’m asking. Just low. went into crisis and lost a friend.

Also, thanks for pointing this post out to your readers.

One other reason to do it: it frees up energy that is otherwise used dealing with the hurt. Hence the good feeling when we do heal.